If This Isn't Scary, I Just Don't Know What Is

I'm a little concerned. When I was out a couple of nights ago I saw this inflatable Halloween decoration not once, but twice, in two yards in separate parts of town. This leads to the inevitable conclusion that they're either multiplying or one was following me. Either way, this can't be good.

If they are breeding or are sentient and capable of movement, then we should all be on high alert. Pay attention next time you're out driving around and you'll see them everywhere. What are these creatures thinking? What are they hiding? This is an issue I strongly feel should be looked into closely. Possibly with the aid of large federal grants.

We need act now, before it's too late. The evil inflatable Halloween monsters are everywhere, in every yard across the country. There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. They're coming for you!!

Ahem. Sorry. I may be rushing to judgment. Forgive me.

I leave you with a final warning: do not approach any of these... beings. We don't know what they're capable of, so it's best to not engage. Use extreme caution.